Coming to terms with your pain
Acceptance or coming to terms with your pain is not giving up, but getting on with your life despite your pain.
It is not about letting go of hope, but letting go of all the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, and the ongoing struggle you have with your pain. You can waste a lot of time and energy trying to be pain-free, but usually once your pain is chronic, it might not ever go away. Some people with chronic pain find that after letting go of the goal to be pain-free, leaves more room to focus on the rest of their life, it reduces their stress and anxiety, and they can manage their pain more easily.
Acceptance is about coming to terms with what is happening for you right now and learning ways to manage your pain. When you do not accept your pain, the struggle and fight with yourself continues. Think about what it will mean if you keep waiting for the pain to go, to move on with your life; most likely you will be stuck where you are now for a long time.
Think about what it would mean if you do not accept your pain. Will this help you get rid of your pain or will it help you to meet your goals? Does fighting your pain make you feel better?
This image shows two identical rain clouds. The first rain cloud is titled Non-accepting. Under this rain cloud it is written: I do not like rain. I wish it was not raining. My day would be better if it was not raining. My day is ruined. Every day is just like this. It is always like this. Why does it always rain when all I want is for it to be sunny?
The second rain cloud is titled Accepting. Under this rain cloud it is written: Yep – it is raining.
Coming to terms with your pain does not mean that you have to like it or be happy about having chronic pain, it just means you can learn how to deal with your pain so that you can get on with the job of living your life. There are lots of ways that coming to terms with your pain can help you, such as moving forward, using your energy to change your life now and to stop feeling stuck in limbo land. Would it be possible to come to terms with your pain and not feel like you have quit?
Remember accepting your pain is a huge step towards taking control of your life
Now it is your turn to think about coming to terms with your pain.
Read through the Coming to terms with your pain guide and then work through the Coming to terms with your pain worksheet to help you accept your pain, meet your goals and learn to Be Pain Smart.