When parents or carers do not accept a LGBTIQ+ young person's sexuality, intersex variation or gender identity, it can be hard to balance advocating for them with helping their family and carers.
It’s important to offer compassionate care to the family, as they are allowing their young person to access care and providing ongoing mental health care at home. Finding this balance will help you to improve your client's safety and wellbeing, support them to navigate family rejection and respect their privacy and confidentiality.
When working with families who aren’t accepting of their LGBTIQ+ young person:
- look for and encourage supportive behaviours within the family
- inform parents and carers about the risks of family rejection and the benefits of acceptance
- consider family therapy or parenting support to guide parents and carers through their reactions and towards accepting their child’s identity
- help your client develop strategies to cope with difficult family dynamics and improve communication.
If there’s a risk of abuse or the family environment isn’t safe, working directly with parents and carers may not be an option. In those situations, focus on helping your client by:
- encouraging them to build alternative support networks
- finding safe housing if necessary
- connecting them with community resources, such as LGBTIQ+ support groups
- keep an open mind about what 'family' looks like and what is safe and supportive for a young person (e.g. chosen family, extended family and friends)
You can provide and help families who aren't accepting of their child to find support that will address their unique needs through:
- family therapy or parenting support when families are open to engagement, helping guide parents towards acceptance and improved communication
- providing culturally sensitive resources where appropriate, tailored for specific communities and the different roles and make-up of family, for instance Aboriginal groups
- empowering the client, their families and carers to build support networks, understanding that ‘family’ may take various forms
- encouraging connections with affirming communities that respect and validate their identity
- empowering the client, their parents and carers to build support networks, made up of peers that respect and support families with LGBTIQ+ children. This could be a rainbow youth group, a sports club that is affirming for LGBTIQ+ people, or a support group for parents of LGBTIQ+ children.
Assessing and managing risk of harm
When dealing with family rejection, your client's safety is the primary concern. Assess any potential risk of harm, including emotional, physical, or psychological abuse.
Begin by assessing the immediate risks and safety concerns, including any potential harm from family rejection. If the family environment poses a risk, prioritise connecting your client with safe and supportive resources, such as LGBTIQ+ community groups, counselling services or alternative housing options.
It’s important to understand each family’s context, including:
- the role of other children and family members
- the difference between adjustment to change in the specific family dynamic, versus misuse of power and control which creates an environment of potential harm for the young person
- that conflicts between parents and young people are normal and do not necessarily mean that family violence is present.
Navigating cultural and religious influences
Cultural and religious beliefs can significantly influence how families and communities respond to a young person’s sexuality and gender identity. As with all groups, including white, secular Australian culture, cultural and religious communities can offer both support and challenges.
Be open to connecting your client and their family with resources and support from their own cultural and faith communities, which can offer culturally relevant understanding and support. However, you may need to continue to support your client and their family through the nuance and difficulty in these cultural and religious spaces.
If the young person wants to, sensitively explore the diverse perspectives within the culture and/or faith that they and their families are navigating. This supports the young person to have agency in the kind of interactions that are respectful of their experience.
In the sense that there is clear delineation for men’s and women’s business, it can be a very difficult space to navigate for families and young people. I’ve spoken to eight elders about my child and been told different things – it’s confusing and it leaves my child not really ‘belonging’ anywhere culturally. I almost avoid going to things based around women’s business because I don’t want to exclude my child.