Sexuality (rather than gender, sex or sex characteristics) includes romantic, emotional and sexual attraction.
It also covers the way we form and behave in relationships, including monogamy, non-monogamy and chosen family. Everyone has an experience of sexuality, with heterosexuality being the most common.
Language to explain sexuality continues to evolve to describe different experiences of attraction and behaviour. While the language may be new to us or our society, it doesn't mean that the experiences they are describing are new to human relationships.
Being curious about the language young people use to describe their sexuality and why they use it is an important part of supporting them. It helps to create a safe space and give them a sense of agency when navigating relationships if they choose to pursue them.
Young people, like generations before them, are always constructing language to describe their world, senses, feelings and thoughts. This effort and self-reflection can be a strength to draw on in mental health engagement, rather than a barrier to support.
Lesbian and gay identities
| Lesbian | Most commonly used to describe a woman who is emotionally, romantically or sexually attracted to other women. Lesbian can also be used to describe the lesbian culture that a person is part of, honouring this in their sexuality even though they may not identify their gender with womanhood at all or exclusively. Some examples of this are: non-binary, trans-femme or trans-masculine (masc) lesbian. |
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Gay | Most commonly used to describe a man who is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to other men. It can also be used to describe the gay culture that an individual is a part of, honouring this in their sexuality even though they may not identify their gender with manhood at all or exclusively. Some examples of this are: non-binary gay, trans-masculine gay. Gay is sometimes used as a catch-all term for LGBTIQ+ identities and communities. It is less common and less inclusive than ‘queer’ given its association with men. |
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Bi+ identities
Bi+ refers to people whose sexual orientation involves attraction to more than one gender, and encompasses a range of identities within the broader bisexual spectrum.
| Bisexual | Attraction to more than one gender, typically including both male and female, but not necessarily equally. |
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Pansexual | Attraction to people regardless of their gender, including non-binary and genderqueer people. |
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| Polysexual | Attraction to multiple genders, but not necessarily all genders. |
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| Omnisexual | Attraction to all genders, similar to pansexuality, but sometimes with a specific emphasis on the awareness of gender in attraction. | |
| Fluid | Attraction that can change over time or in different contexts, often incorporating a fluidity in gender attraction. | |
| Queer | Attraction to people regardless of gender. Queer is used in the context of sexuality and relationships to mean fluidity and rejection of heterosexual norms. Queer is also often used to describe non-heteronormative ways of living and gender identities. | |
Asexual and aromantic spectrums
The asexual and aromantic spectrums describe a range of experiences in relation to sexual attraction and behaviour (asexual spectrum) and romantic attraction and behaviour (aromantic spectrum). These different identifying terms acknowledge that sexual and romantic attraction and desire can vary from person to person.
Asexual spectrum
| Asexual or ace | A person who experiences little to no sexual attraction to others. They may still have fulfilling relationships and enjoy physical intimacy, but they don't feel sexual attraction in the way that many others do. |
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| Greysexual or grey-ace | A person who experiences sexual attraction very rarely, or only under specific circumstances. | |
| Demisexual | A person who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a deep emotional connection with someone. | |
| Akiosexual | A person who experiences sexual attraction but doesn’t necessarily want to act on it, or is not interested in pursuing sexual relationships despite feeling attraction. | |
| Allosexual | A person who experiences sexual attraction regularly and desires sexual relationships. | |
Aromantic spectrum
| Aromantic | A person who experiences little or no romantic attraction. They may still form deep emotional connections and have fulfilling relationships, but they don't experience romantic feelings in the same way others might. |
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| Greyromantic | A person who experiences romantic attraction very rarely or under specific circumstances. | |
| Demiromantic | A person who experiences romantic attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection with someone. | |
| Akioromantic or lithromantic | A person who experiences romantic attraction but does not wish to act on it, or who has little interest in engaging in romantic relationships despite feeling romantic attraction. | |
| Frayromantic | A person who experiences romantic attraction only towards a person they don’t have a close emotional connection with. | |
| Romantic or alloromantic | A person who experiences romantic attraction and desires romantic relationships. | |
Different kinds of relationships
| Monogamy | A relationship involving two people, with no other agreed lovers or partners at the same time. | |
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| Non-monogamy | A relationship where there are agreed intimacies outside of the relationship. Open relationships and polyamory are examples of these. | |
| Open relationship | When two people in a relationship agree to not be entirely monogamous. Typically people in open relationships have one partner, and other people that they have a romantic and/or sexual dynamic with. | |
| Polyamory | A type of open relationship where people may have more than one ongoing romantic and/or sexual partner. | |
| Queerplatonic | A term used to describe relationships that might not fit traditional categories but are deeply significant and intimate in LGBTIQ+ community. | |