How to support parents and carers

Parents and carers play an important role in the wellbeing of all young people, and their support is a significant protective factor for mental health. Families of LGBTIQ+ young people can face challenges of their own, including feeling uncertain, overwhelmed or resistant to accepting their child’s experience.

Watch a short video on supporting parents and carers(4:01 min)

Sometimes a young person’s journey to acceptance and embracing themself as they are can lead to changes in parents' and carers' expectations and understanding of the relationship they will have with their child, and to feel a loss of their imagined future.

When my child came out to us about their gender identity, I told them: “I don’t care if you identify as a man, a woman or a fish, I love you just the same". But I was heartbroken. I was not going to shop for formal or wedding dresses, or watch my daughter become a mother. It wasn’t until I named these feelings as grief, and accepted this as a normal response for a parent, that I was able to stop feeling guilty and begin to actively champion my child in this next chapter of their journey.

Supporting parents and carers is an important aspect of working with LGBTIQ+ young people in CAMHS. The following knowledge and tools should be part of your practice:

• Understand the vital role of family support and acceptance in protecting the mental health of LGBTIQ+ young people.
• Recognise the challenges parents and carers may face and the importance of providing them with information and support.
• Ensure LGBTIQ+ young people have direct, safe and confidential support and space to express themselves and explore their identities without fear of judgement or disclosure.
• Ensure young people with intersex variations have direct, safe and confidential support and space to learn about their variation, and that their families have psychosocial support to deepen their understanding and alleviate genetic guilt.
• Develop strategies to manage situations where parents or carers are not accepting of the young person’s identity.
• Understand that for some LGBTIQ+ young people, ‘family’ can look different: for some, a chosen or logical family – made up of friends, mentors and community members who offer emotional support, understanding and acceptance – may be an important part of their life.